The Cord Motor Company
The ultimate in driving experience is finally unleashed with the release of the Cord Motor Companies long-awaited debut. The 2008 Cord tethered automobiles are here. Have young inexperienced drivers in your house that aren't yet familiar with the neighborhoods? Well, no more worry. Is your wife retarded? She'll never get lost again with Cord's new tethered automobile. Simply attach the car's "cord" to the convenient "cord catcher" which is fastened safely to the inside of your garage or on your houses exterior and with the push of a button all of your dumb ass family members will be returned home directly. Excellent for old people and the incompetent.
Severed cords are not the responsibility of The Cord Motor Company. As the cords return function does not take into consideration any traffic laws or signals, The Cord Motor Company will not take any responsibility for injuries or fatalities during the use of our tethered line of automobiles. Please do not complain that our cords are woven dog and cat fur; the animals were already dead when we received them in the mail. And finally, due to overwhelming numbers of irate customers The Cord Motor Company will no longer offer the personal information of customers with young children to pedophiles. We apologize in advance for this inconvenience.
Buy one or fuck off.
Severed cords are not the responsibility of The Cord Motor Company. As the cords return function does not take into consideration any traffic laws or signals, The Cord Motor Company will not take any responsibility for injuries or fatalities during the use of our tethered line of automobiles. Please do not complain that our cords are woven dog and cat fur; the animals were already dead when we received them in the mail. And finally, due to overwhelming numbers of irate customers The Cord Motor Company will no longer offer the personal information of customers with young children to pedophiles. We apologize in advance for this inconvenience.
Buy one or fuck off.
posted by The Person at 8:57 PM
1 Comments:
This is, without a doubt, my fave voice mail message to date. Very Monty Python. Whitey McFly comes in second, but I think only because it was in the context of having a bunch of stuffy lawyers calling you non-stop before 11:59 a.m. and therefore getting to hear the message.
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