I Do Taboo

--- I refuse to hold open doors for the elderly. If they are so weak and helpless shouldn't they exercise those arms by doing things themselves?
--- I don't put the toilet seat down when there are women that use the same bathroom. Unless, of course, they are willing to put it back up when they are done. I mean, women's lib. ... it's all or nothing right?
--- I make fat jokes around those heavily influenced by gravity.
--- I don't wash my hands after going to the bathroom... just in case someone wants to shake my hand soon after
--- I go to churches and use the rectory phone to place 1-900 number calls.
--- I discuss the phone calls with any members of the clergy I can find.
--- If, while driving my car, I come across an animal in the middle of the road... I hit it. Even if it has a collar and a leash and is being walked by a human.
--- When having attacks of flatulence I go out of my way to find elevators or any other small confined space where there are lots of people.
--- If I find someones wallet I take all of the money out and leave the wallet right where I found it, being sure to remove all forms of ID first. This is to insure that no one else can return it to its rightful owner.
--- If someone is lost and asks if I know how to get to the Home Depot, I say yes and walk away.
--- When I am short on cash I try to find homeless people that I have donated to in the past and demand a refund.
--- I write letters to "special" schools asking how they get all those Down-Syndrome kids to look alike. ( Don't blame me... blame George Carlin.)
--- And in regards to the take a penny leave a penny trays ... I always take . I never leave.