Things I Don't Mind Doing For You:
--- I don't mind washing your car on a hot summer day, provided it is a Puegot.
--- I will hide in the bushes and jump out at just the right time and scare one of your loved ones.... if you'd like.
--- I will shine your shoes for a bowl of soup and a peice of bread
--- I will write you into a movie script about two young sisters and their trip to Denmark; a journey through love, loss, and life. Casting you in the male lead, a strong-willed young Brit named Pip Cooper.
--- I will happily carve the names of all the American presidents, in alphabetical order, on the side of you house... If you'd like.
--- I don't mind if your sister from Tucumcari NM comes to my house and takes all of my clothes pins, dishwashing detergant, and Chuck Knaubloch baseball cards.
--- If you are joining a cult and plan on participating in the mass suicide then I don't mind taking care of your pets for a while after you're gone. At least until they get back on their feet and find a job... you know? Get some income flowing and maybe find a place of their own.
--- And finally, if you become hopelessly addicted to interior decorating... if you are constantly moving peices of furniture around and you have Venetian blinds in your car windows.... I will do everything in my power to get you some help.... not all the help but i will get you some help. After all, I will be spending alot of time washing cars and consoling orphaned pets.
--- I will hide in the bushes and jump out at just the right time and scare one of your loved ones.... if you'd like.
--- I will shine your shoes for a bowl of soup and a peice of bread
--- I will write you into a movie script about two young sisters and their trip to Denmark; a journey through love, loss, and life. Casting you in the male lead, a strong-willed young Brit named Pip Cooper.
--- I will happily carve the names of all the American presidents, in alphabetical order, on the side of you house... If you'd like.
--- I don't mind if your sister from Tucumcari NM comes to my house and takes all of my clothes pins, dishwashing detergant, and Chuck Knaubloch baseball cards.
--- If you are joining a cult and plan on participating in the mass suicide then I don't mind taking care of your pets for a while after you're gone. At least until they get back on their feet and find a job... you know? Get some income flowing and maybe find a place of their own.
--- And finally, if you become hopelessly addicted to interior decorating... if you are constantly moving peices of furniture around and you have Venetian blinds in your car windows.... I will do everything in my power to get you some help.... not all the help but i will get you some help. After all, I will be spending alot of time washing cars and consoling orphaned pets.
posted by The Person at 12:00 AM
3 Comments:
Oh my god shinebox this is too easy....I was gonna say u forgot shoe shines.....but its the third one on the list...I got u burnin urself for me....Im such a pro....we cant even begin to comprehend the magnitude of this burn.....Its beyond u fairy.....Kudos to u sir....lol
Yeah, its pretty funny that I happen to have one about shining shoes..... but beyond that coincidence, I think the funnier thing is all your half ass insults followed predictably by the word "burn"
U have to understand I have to write burn...it makes it less threatening...U know, its kinda like a happy face thats winking...Or other people would think im just rippin cuz I dont like u....I see you responded only to a few of the weaker jokes.... The one about shoe shine and the other one about modeling are priceless...quite a coincidence u ignored both of these ;)....but thats all u get is half assed until u show some prowess in ur abilites fairy...
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