Things I Don't Mind Doing For You:

--- I don't mind washing your car on a hot summer day, provided it is a Puegot.
--- I will hide in the bushes and jump out at just the right time and scare one of your loved ones.... if you'd like.
--- I will shine your shoes for a bowl of soup and a peice of bread
--- I will write you into a movie script about two young sisters and their trip to Denmark; a journey through love, loss, and life. Casting you in the male lead, a strong-willed young Brit named Pip Cooper.
--- I will happily carve the names of all the American presidents, in alphabetical order, on the side of you house... If you'd like.
--- I don't mind if your sister from Tucumcari NM comes to my house and takes all of my clothes pins, dishwashing detergant, and Chuck Knaubloch baseball cards.
--- If you are joining a cult and plan on participating in the mass suicide then I don't mind taking care of your pets for a while after you're gone. At least until they get back on their feet and find a job... you know? Get some income flowing and maybe find a place of their own.
--- And finally, if you become hopelessly addicted to interior decorating... if you are constantly moving peices of furniture around and you have Venetian blinds in your car windows.... I will do everything in my power to get you some help.... not all the help but i will get you some help. After all, I will be spending alot of time washing cars and consoling orphaned pets.

A Moment In History: Legendary Shuckers

In October of 1940 dozens from all over Wisconsin traveled to the biggest farm in all of Richland County for the 4th annual Corn Husking Championships.

This air was thick with anitcipation as the final weighings were being made.
In the end, Rock Counties own, Dick Post ( shown here... and yes, that really is his name) walked away with the title in a closely contested final versus cross town rival Omer Koopman. This was the year when Wisconsin cornhusking was really put on the map. Dick Post went on to model for the magazine "Shirt Too Short, Pants Too High, Collar Flaired Out Like A D-Bag Weekly" in the late 40's.

Introspection Is My Favorite Sport

Man! I really feel like my posts are going downhill. I mean I'm really going lowball here. Look at those pictures in the last post. What the hell is that? I am gonna come back at you with some real cerebral stuff. We are gonna get deep in the coming days ladies and gentlemen. I'm just warning you.

Lets Examine Some More Pictures

And there is a redneck theme here...

"Should I tuck my shirt in? ... Naaa. Cheeeese!"


Oddly enough, the funniest part about this picture to me is that she is wearing a BurgerKing crown. Just because it's like a patient with advanced lung cancer wearing a Marlboro t-shirt


Redneck Ruler






This is my 3rd cousin Crawfish McGee. As you can see he is a succesful fashion designer. And I think he just swallowed a large turtle.

Dear Webster's,

I don't think the word research is very acurate. When you are doing a term paper in college you go to the library to gather information on the subject. You search for information. I guess if you go back the next day and look in the same sources for info then you would be researching. But until then please say that you are going to the library to do some searching. Thank you.

Fore!

We should put all of the rapists and murderers and child molesters on a driving range. Spread out evenly on these golf courses, the criminals will be attached to a chain allowing them no more then 5 feet of manuvering room. I feel that people who have never hit golf balls in thier life will flock to these locations. We could bump up the cost of a bucket of balls by about 125%. Then as a special feature we could sell photographs of thier best shots. Kind of like how they do on roller coasters. A moment of impact sort of thing... you know? At night when the courses close the criminals will just be left there. And when one criminal dies from repeated bludgening his body will eventually decompose and provide phospherous and other nutrients for the soil of the surrounding area, reducing the cost of grounds upkeep. The plan would reduce the cost of housing criminals and create immense amounts of revenue for the state through record sales of balls. The only demographic that will factor out of this great equation would be the professional golfers. They will likely find that the driving ranges will throw off thier game as sucsess on these courses will require an acurate line drive rather then the usual pop-fly. Unless state officials and lenders contact me about this, it will sadly stay a mere idea.